One Chinese Blogger’s View on “Transformers 2”

One Chinese Blogger posted his view on “Transformers 2” on QQ:

Basically, “Transformers 2” is more “transformed” than “Transformers”, but writing a regular file critic is like “please write down the feeling of driving a Chevrolet” or “please analyze the characteristics of how KFC taste” dry and boring. Therefore, I will write it unconventionally.

What I feel the most about “Transformers 2” is that it is a teenager educational film for the future President of the United States. The character Sam totally created with the same education, training as the next president and it proved that this guy will learn fast. “Transformers 2” spent many hundred million dollars to give the next president of the United States 10 advices.

1. In the future when United States fight the aliens, fight far away from home land as much as possible because there is too much damage. It is best to move to countries with ancient civilizations such as Egypt with the pyramids, the sphinx destroyed, well deserved.

2. We have to keep in mind that the main theme of this films, not only to sell cars, but also to sell weapons, who says the world cannot have weapon advertisement? As long as it is a good movie, it has good advertising effect.

3. We must keep in mind that at certain times of crisis we must find a patriotic but has not blossomed also highly skilled unlucky guy. He will help you sacrifice his life for the country.

4. Future America president must be faithful when it comes to love. Not because you are not allowed to have change of heart, it is because you are too important, at any time you might meet “Bai Gu Jing” (白骨精: a reference from “Journey to the West”) (“succubus” is how I would translate it), losing your virginity is small, losing your life would be huge.

5. Continue the above, in the moment of crisis, must protect mom and dad well, must go through thick and thin with your beautiful girlfriend. In the future you two will be very important history. When you retire from your presidency, your wife is still well-known with good reputation. Even if she cannot become the woman president she can be the secretary of the state.

6. F-16 is still good in the future F-series fighter jets. It is accurate, moves with a swift speed. It can destroy the targets quickly. Remember, it can protect yourself also protect your friends, especially your rich friends.

7. Our entire military forces can be used to protect and save one person, as long has he might be the next president, is the one that matters to the survival of the earth.

8. Those sinister looking national security advisers, it is proved that they are mostly useless, wordy and unpopular. But you must find this kind for the job, because they can make you look very smart.

9. If you have a college buddy who is cowardly, perverted and petty but you guys stuck together in life and death when you become the president you can make him an ambassador at places with high risk of war, such as Middle East. This kills two birds with one stone it not only shows you view friendship with great importance but also gives you revenge when he disrespected you back then.

10. You, as the future president of the United States, best grow up in a family with harmonious relations. Mom always treats you like a baby, a little over outgoing, broadcast your privacy to everyone, over excited when people are around. Dad loves you very much, often with tearful eyes. The first day of school your parents sent you to the University. What? Is this like Chinese Parents? Hey little man, your future is to PK with China, so Chinese style parents will let you know both your opponent and yourself.