Chinese wolf dad beats 3 kids into Beijing University

| November 15th, 2011

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At the beginning of this year, the book “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” by Amy Chua has caused fierce discussion on  traditional Chinese education methods. Recently another book “Therefore, Beijing University siblings (所以,北大兄妹) has brought a so-called wolf dad into the spotlight because he too, adopts extremely strict parenting methods and raises 4 well-behaving kids, 3 of whom get into Beijing University, one of the best universities in China. His parenting motto is “beating every 3 days gets your children into BJU”.

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To wolf dad Xiao Baiyou (萧百佑) , beating kids is more than a necessary part of home education, but also one of the best parts. He said every time his children misbehave or fail to meet his expectation in school, he would give them feather duster punishment. When Xiao was taking the college entrance examination, he got 8th place in Guangdong Province and was admitted to Jinan University. He attributed his success to his mother who beat him on every tiny mistake he made. So he carried on his mother’s legacy and beat 3 children into Beijing University.

Xiao said he was not a barbarian dad as the public thought. “Beating children is not that simple. My experience tells me it is not easy to do it scientifically and artistically. How to do it scientifically? I think there must be clear home rules and punishment measures. The kids have to know what is right, what is wrong, or whether they are repeating the same mistakes, where is the wrong part, how many whips to it, and no resistance during when receiving the punishment. And when the punishment’s over, they have to express their resolution to be good next time.”

He believes that all children have three natures: animality, humanity, and sociality. Before the age of 12, the animality in children plays a more important role therefore only corporal punishment can teach them what’s right and what’s wrong. “So I mainly adopt “beating” in their upbringing before 12 years old, after that their humanity is basically in form, I won’t beat them anymore and instead adopt lecturing.”

In Xiao Baiyou’s weibo, he often compares his wolf dad style education to normal motivational education and delinquent education:

Look at the results of so-called motivational education or delinquent education: Li Shuangjing’s beloved son assaults people, Yao Jiaxin murders, and many other post-90s never know the decency of giving seats on the bus. Compare to that, my beating the children is nothing. God knows what will happen if there is a knife in the car of Shuangjiang’s son. Many people bash me for beating my kids, but look what happen to those who don’t.

Encouragement is more important than reward. I think every kid remembers their parents saying “if you get 100 points in the exam, mummy will reward you with a gift” “if you get the first place, daddy will take you out for a treat” … These kind of words will never come out from me and my wife, nor will our four kids ever hear about it. Compared to other kids born after 1990s, my children are always excellent. They have good scores, they behave, help with house chores, polite, and won’t go out play without proper reason. But reward, sorry, not in my house.

U2415P1T1D23465784F21DT20111115025523 On Nov 14th, “wolf dad” Xiao Baiyou proudly took the feather duster that he used when beating his kids  to an educational TV show and talked about his special methods. Some audience on spot agreed with his practice, while many others resented it strongly especially a professor guest calling him a Mr. Bully.

However confident Xiao is about his special home education methods, he couldn’t remain calm when challenged on the show on the following aspects.

Dispute 1. Is this servility education?

Professor Zhu Qiang from Nanjing Normal University said: Xiao uses corporal punishment into making his kids obedient, he is actually using violence to impose his own will on the children, who will grow up to be yes-men without independent thinking. Wolf dad ends up fostering sheep kids, it is basically servility education that twists their mind. There is no causal relation between his corporal punishment and his kids getting into BJU, such methods shouldn’t be advocated.

Xiao’s defense: When the kids are young, they don’t need independent thinking. They can grow as long as they learn to listen to their parents. As far as I am concerned, the animality plays the main role in kids between 0 – 12, many of their actions are taken subconsciously therefore it takes feather duster to set the rules; between 12 – 18, the humanity in kids gradually takes over, they learn to tell the right from the wrong; after 18, their sociality steps in then they have the need to socialize. Thus the kids are forbid from friending before college, there should only be “family” and “schoolmate” these two concepts in their life. Three of my children make it to BJU which proves that my parenting methods didn’t produce kids without independent thinking. I am only helping them to learn about the world when they are young.

Dispute 2. Can such regimen create happy kids?

Writer and winner of “10 best parents in Nanjing” Zhang Jiwen: Wolf dad sets some very harsh rules, such as no TV only news programs, no coke, no opening the freezer without proper reason, even no air conditioning without proper cause. Breaking any of the said rules will introduce the kids to the feather duster. His son Xiao Rao recalls that he only had one time worry-free playing throughout his childhood. Xiao Rao admits wolf dad’s success but he regrets all the happiness absence in their childhood.

Xiao’s defense: Children don’t have substantial knowledge of happiness or pain. He said that he knew his daughter once wrote in her diary about not having a happy childhood, but he chose to ignore it. Because he thought children base their recognition of happiness or pain on comparison with other kids, therefore they can’t really understand what’s happiness. In the future their recognition of childhood is based on memory. “Now that they make it to BJU, they achieve success during the student phase. I believe when they reflect on their childhood, they must think they are happy.”

Dispute 3: Education should not focus on the glorious surface, rather it should care about the young minds.

Huang Kan, teacher from Nanjing First High School: Yes 3 of wolf dad’s kids are admitted into BJU, but that doesn’t necessarily means their inner state of mind is as gloriously shining as their achievements, perhaps deep down they feel repressed and painful. No matter how you do it, beating will leave psychological damage to the children. To me, an adult beating a kid is bully. My daughter was a very good kid but she chose to end her life after she went abroad for studying. Then I came to realize that I never really walk into her heart. I hope wolf dad can communicate more with the kids on emotional level, to prevent tragedy.

Xiao’s defense: Xiao said that he was not as cold blooded as the public thought. He beats his kids out of love for them. He told the reporter that he almost gave up his job to foster his young children. “I am a deputy of section for 10 years, didn’t get any promotion because of my children. I can say that I am the best and the most responsible father in the world.

When asked about his future plan, Xiao said he wished to open a traditional private school to teach students like that in Qing Dynasty, he would teach them horse riding and archery. But he would go on with the corporal punishment. “So far I have taken care of over 30 children sent to me by their parents. I beat them no matter they are boys or girls, and they won’t resist, they parents agree to it too. My children have agreed to let me mentor their kids in the future. I make each of them promise to give me at least 3 grandchildren.”

(Via sina, sohu, eol.)

34 Comments | Leave a comment | Comment feed

  1. Huzhang says:

    Those disputes are all irrelevant hippie bullshit.

    Here’s a real issue: % of kids you can beat vs % of those kids who can get into Beijing U

    That’s right, the odds are shit.
    It’s like saying one guy becomes a rich superstar everyone who emulates him will become a rich superstar too. Not how it works.

    >Children don’t have substantial knowledge of happiness or pain
    hurr durr

  2. Bo Wang says:

    How was this guy allowed to have four kids?

    • G$ says:

      Seriously how has this not been brought up? I want to see the Chinese netizens’ response. Because I want to know the explanation for this guy and his wife getting past the one child policy not once, not twice, but thrice! Did he just suck it up and pay the fee each time? And, no forced sterilizations? And how does this guy have the effrontery to think that in a society where everyone is supposed to have one child that he get to go and have FOUR?! Also, he must not have SO much money OR he must not be THAT successful at rearing his children if he could ONLY get them into BJU. What, no Harvard, Princeton or Yale?

    • Augis says:

      I actually wonder if the son is the youngest among his children. This at least would explain why he has four.
      But it is still mystery why he was allowed to have 4. Maybe he has “guanxi”.
      Then it also explains why his kids got into Beijing University… and beating has nothing to do with it.

    • Peter says:

      Two of his children were born in the USA, and the other two were born in Hong Kong:

      http://www.globaltimes.cn/NEWS/tabid/99/ID/684704/Spoil-the-child.aspx

      Also, the mother is from Hong Kong:

      http://www.npr.org/2011/12/14/143659027/and-you-thought-the-tiger-mother-was-tough

  3. jeff says:

    Here we have 3 kids who have been beaten through a system of memorization and regurgitation and who have learned to base their self esteem on academic results so that they can get into a good university. Now let’s see what happens when they find out that creativity, non-academic smarts and life skills are needed to succeed in the real world.

    • G$ says:

      Seriously, I want a follow-up five and ten years from now on these kids and those of the tiger mother. Also, I want on-going details of the parent-child relationships.

  4. Zvi says:

    This reminds me of a guy on Iranian national television insisting that the world was flat, but that tricks of the eye made it look round. There is no end to how much legitimate criticism could be leveled against that fool, he will continue to insist that he is the best parent since rice cakes were invented.
    I’ve known a lot of book-smart Chinese youth and young adults, but almost all of them were ill-prepared for life and destined for failure after their glorious college career at some prestigious university, kind of like how this fool’s children probably are.

    • patriot says:

      Arabs, and especially Iranians are a bunch of backwards, savage, racist, oppressive twats. I’m not surprised they think the world is flat.

      Asians may be booksmart and able to memorize stuff, but they don’t have the capability or innovation to create or INVENT.

      ALL the great inventions are thanks to WHITE westerners. Our level of intelligence and civility is far beyond any Chink, Gook, Nigger, or towelhead. I’m sick of these Black/brown racists, and CCP trolls attacking White westerners. WE did NOTHING wrong. Africans enslaved themselves. Native Americans were wiped out by diseases and STD’s. We treated Asians better than their own people. They should be BOWING down to us. I’m half cherokee by the way. I think Native Americans would be worse off without European takeover.

      • korean_guy says:

        Patriot is the inbred fucktard offspring of black dudes and backwater hillbilly white shits.

  5. Bummed Ho says:

    The chick on the right is sexy. I’d let her touch my wang.

  6. g-hutong says:

    In her book, Amy Chua presents compelling arguments for the validity of both side. The book only exploited its controversial premise as a marketing tool.

    In the book she describes a sister (who was raised in the Tiger mom/Wolf dad manner) who had all the indications of success – great job, PhD, ect. She however committed suicide.

    And I agree with the above dudes, these kids are probably emotionally stunted or will have full blown psychological problems later in life. Want to see long term follow up.

  7. Curren$y says:

    I ALSO BEAT MY KIDS TO MAKE UP FOR MY LOW SELF-ESTEEM AND SMALL WANG

  8. Korean_guy says:

    my ass is so sore from being fucked by black guys. I’m just a white trash hick from alabama who got raped by black dudes. also i was fingered by a chinaman

    TAP SUM BONG!

    • patriot says:

      It’s very easy to outsmart Black men. Physically, they aren’t even that strong. I’m much stronger than most Black guys and so are my friends. It’s a myth that Black guys have bigger dicks than White guys (black guys have smaller brains though).

      Take any White UFC/MMA fighter and pit him against some nigger and the White guy would win.

      Don’t get me wrong, I have a really good friend that’s Black. Also, I Love OBAMA. I voted for him in ’08, and I’m voting for him in ’12. So, I’m not a racist….

      • Mark says:

        Yes Expatrick you are not a racist. It really is impossible for a baboon to be racist…Dont get me wrong I got nothing against baboons. I visit them at the zoo all the time.

  9. izabella says:

    trying to be ‘traditional chinese’, but actually being very competitive and capitalistic, caring only about superficial success. here’s an interesting piece about wolf dad: http://thinkingchinese.com/wolf-dad-accompanies-tiger-mom-though-most-chinese-are-trying-to-escape-the-parenting-zoo

  10. So Sad says:

    I wanna beat the crap out of this guy.

  11. Ken Ji says:

    How is this not child abuse? Yes they got into Beijing University, but how can anyone prove that this is directly correlated? This is ridiculous, there have been many more cases where “beating” your child has resulted in extremely negative outcomes. Why are they not published? Why do these cases not get media attention?

    Ridiculous

  12. Peter says:

    “His son Xiao Rao recalls that he only had one time worry-free playing throughout his childhood. Xiao Rao admits wolf dad’s success but he regrets all the happiness absence in their childhood.”

    Hopefully Xiao Rao will not continue this method of oppressive parenting in the name of love and discipline to any future children he may have.

  13. Peter says:

    “Three of my children make it to BJU which proves that my parenting methods didn’t produce kids without independent thinking.”

    This only shows that Xiao Baiyou’s parenting methods worked, but it DOES NOT mean that it is the ONLY type of parenting that works. How many graduates of prestigious universities had parents that implemented this type of parenting? Were such parents of graduates stricter or more lenient? What were parents like for most of such graduates? It would be interesting to know.

  14. Peter says:

    “Look at the results of so-called motivational education or delinquent education: Li Shuangjing’s beloved son assaults people, Yao Jiaxin murders, and many other post-90s never know the decency of giving seats on the bus.”

    How does this prove that it was motivational education or delinquent education that caused Li Shuangjing’s son and Yao Jiaxin to commit the crimes that they did? Perhaps these two did not even receive motivational education or delinquent education at all. Also, their behaviour probably had nothing to do with their education methods, but the way that their parents disciplined them on what’s right and wrong. Even today, there have been highly educated individuals have been convicted of white-collar crimes, and are now serving lengthy prison sentences. Does that mean their education methods caused them to commit such crimes?

  15. Peter says:

    Using corporal punishment on children for not meeting parental academic expectations is wrong.

    Using corporal punishment on children for being exhibiting rude behaviour, lying, hitting, cheating, or doing anything that would be equivalent to breaking a law is an absolute must.

    If children have poor grades, then they need to be put on probation until their grades have improved, not being beat for it.

  16. Peter says:

    No friends, no internet, and being unable to go out the house. That’s practically a prison. In fact, you would be even more free in a Norwegian prison that you would be in this father’s house.

    If I were one of his children, once I reach 15, I would go to school, and then run away from there, and never return. Either way, I would have no internet, but I would at least be able to be free and perhaps get help from some classmates that I know of.

    If North Koreans can escape North Korea by slipping past border guards that shoot emigrants, then I should be able to escape such a household even easier.

    Paleolithic humans lived in the forest and walked on dirt. Modern humans still have many genetic traits as paleolithic humans. It should not be hard to survive this way, because we have the genes for it.

    Human parenting for human children!

    • Peter says:

      In the USA, it is considered a CRIMINAL OFFENSE for any minor under 18 years to run away from home.

      Anyone who harbours the runaway minor is also committing a CRIMINAL OFFENSE.

      Not reporting to the police about a runaway minor, or giving food, water, shelter, or hygiene items to a runaway minor is also considered a CRIMINAL OFFENSE.

      In the USA, there are many acts the are criminal offenses that should not even be considered criminal offenses in the first place. There are also certain crimes that are punished way to harshly with lengthy prison sentences.

  17. Peter says:

    For everyone’s well-being, slamming the brakes in front of a tailgater is considered the CRIMINAL OFFENSE of reckless driving.

    This can be considered a MISDEMEANOR or FELONY.

  18. Peter says:

    Amy “Tiger Mother” Chua has two daughters, Sophia Chua-Rubenfeld and Louisa “Lulu” Chua-Rubenfeld.

    Amy Chua used the strict Chinese parenting on her two daughters. It worked well for her older daughter Sophia, but it was a different story for her younger daughter Lulu.

    Amy Chua recounts in “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother”, Lulu, then 13, begins smashing glasses in a Moscow restaurant and yelling at her mother, “I HATE my life, I HATE you.”

    Eventually, the fierce tiger Amy Chua admitted that she was “humbled by a thirteen-year-old”, and “pulled back at the right time”.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/16/fashion/16Cultural.html?pagewanted=all

  19. Peter says:

    I actually know a person whose about 5’7″ tall and weighs 170 lbs. Has a broad upper body and a good amount of body fat along with body muscle.

    The father frequently spanked this person for misbehaving, even hitting this person with a wooden rod on the buttocks one time for yelling at a teacher. The last time this person was beat by the father for misbehaving was around 14 years old.

    Did that force this person to behave like the way this Wolf father wanted? Absolutely not. In fact, one time this person got into a physical fight with another roommate after the roommate allegedly said something to mock the person. No one was hurt or arrested because luckily, there were enough people around to prevent the situation from getting worse.

    Obviously, in the case of this person, the father spanked and beat this person every time this person misbehaved or displayed a disrespectful attitude. But this Wolf beating method obviously did nothing to prevent this person from assaulting people.

    All I am going to say is that this Wolf father is lucky to have thin children that can easily be beat. This wolf father may have been beaten severely had he had a child like the person I just mentioned. Children under this type of parenting can become very stressed. And when this person became stressed, this person would start to hit people, even despite being constantly spanked and beaten at a young age for misbehaving.

    This is why human children need human parents. Not wolf fathers, and not tiger mothers, but human fathers and mothers.

  20. Peter says:

    Sina Entertainment interviews China Wolf Father 萧百佑:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pxNvfFKwTY

  21. Peter says:

    “”I once thought about running away… but without a single penny in my pocket, no friends, where could I go?” Xiao’s eldest son, Xiao Yao, once wrote in his diary. The boy’s strong interest in plants was easily killed by his dad’s cane when he was in elementary school.”

    http://www.globaltimes.cn/NEWS/tabid/99/ID/684704/Spoil-the-child.aspx

  22. Huzhang says:

    Just for that, I will pulverize the next gook I meet.

  23. Voice of China says:

    I’ll keep saying it gook, you don’t understand the word murder son.

    KIMCHI SIMIDA

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