This is a slightly older post on Mop (from October 2009) but it has gotten over 20,000 comments (and a lot of support) and somehow it has reached the top of the charts again. It seems to reflect a lot of the mainstream sentiment of how to be a 爷们. I guess it would translate to something like “manly man,” or “real man,” but it should be interpreted in a Chinese context. Personally, I see it as a modern and trendy way to say “男子汉," which is why I put a picture of Lei Feng (雷锋) up above. I am somewhat of a feminist, and I don’t really agree with categorical prescriptions like this, but this is still very interesting to me from an anthropological perspective. There are some things that seem to be something only a Chinese person would say, but some things that seem like they might apply to everyone. I’d be interested to see what you would add to the list, or what you take away from the list.
As a man, especially to be a real man, you should do the following:
- If a friend treats you to dinner, do not take it for granted, or else your reputation will suffer.
- Give yourself a goal – one years, two years, five years. Maybe you weren’t born into the best situation, but through hard work, you can change about 70% of your fate. Losers have cowardly friends.
- This is a practical society, you cannot rely on emotions for meals, poor couples never make it. Don’t believe in the movies, they’re only to encourage strangers to develop relationships.
- Among your good friends, you must cultivate a really close friend, do not think you’re just slick and smooth with a lot of friends. In the end, there will only be one person that will treat you truly well, trust me.
- Do not believe in astrology, that’s just to coax children, your fate is in your own hands. Are you really going to wait around for a house or a car to appear?
- If you don’t like someone, don’t spend too much time with them, but don’t talk about people behind their backs.
- Don’t spend too much time playing games, this is not Korea, you can’t really “play” for a woman or a car.
- Learn English. Don’t mind those who say that learning English is not important. Either they’re old, or they’ve already passed the TOEFL or CET 6. You don’t need to get the certificate, but be sure to learn it well.
- Know what you need to do. In the dead of the night, ask yourself what are your future plans, and work toward that.
- Flip through some fashion magazines once in a while so that you can improve your taste.
- Try to look at porn less, even if you’re a regular single man, you don’t need to obsess over porn all day. And every time you masturbate you will lose a lot of zinc, and this element is closely linked with your brain.
- Drink a glass of water every morning, for this will prevent gallstones. Do not drink water in the hour before you go to bed, otherwise you will get dark bags under your eyes.
- Don’t sit around in bars during all your free time, read some literature, learn some business practices, management, international affairs, legal issues. This can guarantee that you have a way to make money.
- Everyone’s still young and doesn’t have that much money, don’t worry too much about who has Prada, Nike, etc. And your girlfriend’s passion for Prada, Lancome, Louis Vuitton, you don’t need to take too seriously. Women are born to care about beauty, they just want to know that you can buy them one expensive present to fulfill their vanity and then brag about it in front of their peers. Actually, they also love life, and when you do have the means to make them beautiful, you will also feel pleased.
- When you want to do something, before you succeed, you don’t need to tell other people.
- Keep your nails, hair, and beard neat. Society is inherently exclusive and there are only so many artists that this planet needs, so do not take this risk. Even if you look good with long hair, try to make it look clean.
- Do not think that since you are man, you do not need maintenance. At least don’t be too careless about what you eat. Eat more tomatoes, seafood, leeks, and bananas – these are all good for a man’s health. Even if you don’t see the value in doing this, let me tell you, at least you can save the money from going to the hospital to buy your girlfriend some Dior.
- Those who strive for excellence do not always rely on other people. People are all selfish, and you can really only rely on yourself.
- In the face of defeat, don’t freak out…but learn to take responsibility, find the reason, and change your bad habits. If you have no money at 20, that’s normal, no money at 30, that’s destiny, no money at 40, then you have become a woman.
- All men who see a good post will support it!