Get engaged in a bed of cash in China

| January 23rd, 2010

I saw these pictures on the Ifeng BBS. In Shaoxin Qiaohe, a couple got engaged and the future groom took out 988,888 RMB (150,000 USD) engagement money for the bride’s family, a 200,000 RMB (30,000 USD) engagement ring and a 100,000 RMB (15,000 USD) golden necklace.

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This is really nothing rare or new in China, and there are certainly way more extravagant engagements or weddings in China, but it is still pretty impressive among the common folks in China or else it would not have ended up on the BBS.  People say marriage is a business, it is especially true in China, at least it is always more typical and elaborate.

Traditionally, the bride’s family makes a nice return for all these years of investment of bringing up their daughter and finally giving her away and the groom’s family gains a daughter. The wedding is usually very expensive, but not for the couple’s families because almost no guest brings an actual wedding present but they bring the famous Hongbao (red envelopes) stuffed with cash. A well executed wedding actually brings in a very nice profit for the newlyweds to start their new life. Wedding is also a nice marketing and PR activity for the families. The couple’s families get a chance to show off their wealth and also to strengthen those guanxi (connections) of relatives, friends, business partners and those powerful allies. After all, they are who you depend on to bring you even more wealth in the future. Marriages in the west are not all pure and simple, many are all about the business, it’s just they are much more subtle, can you imagine a western couple getting engaged in a bed full of hundred dollar bills?  Other than in the rap video or drug dealers and mafias.

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32 Comments | Leave a comment | Comment feed

  1. LazyCat says:

    I suppose that should be much more ‘subtle’ in stead of ‘settle’?

  2. Kai says:

    Well, she has the youth and looks at least. He, well, he has the money. I wish them the best.

  3. hatty says:

    Lets follow this story for two years,we all be, well, not surprised,how it ends!
    When money is the key to love……!
    She can only give him one prince,or princess,if she really wants…?
    I hope he finds love in work, and she finds love in Gold or LV and Gucci,and ……
    thanx for this lovely tale of ……..”china in the making”!
    tara Hatty

    • Nann. says:

      Come on guys, it is Chinese tradition and custom. In the past, they used cows or sheeps or crops for engagement, and today, they turn to money. Just like that simple.
      If he would like to pay this engagement, if she would like to give him a prince, why not?
      It’s fair.

    • Rex Remes says:

      I agree. Let’s see where things are in two years.

      Will they be happily married? Will he be a good husband or one of those philandering kinds? Will she always expect more and more, and be disappointed when she doesn’t get more and more?

      “Traditionally, the bride’s family makes a nice return for all these years of investment of bringing up their daughter and finally giving her away and the groom’s family gains a daughter.” <—– years of investment? This statement gave me a good chuckle. hehe. And if a chinese family can "make money" by having a daughter, then why do Chinese people want to have sons so badly?

      • Key says:

        Because traditionally the a man still will bring in more wealth then a woman in China. More importantly the man carries on the family line, the child will have the guys last name which is a big deal. The Chinese way of thinking is a daughter will become someone elses daughter once she gets married, meaning your own family will have no children to carry on the family line. In the old days it could be the worse thing that can happen to a family, to have no son to carry on your name. One of the meanest curse you can say to someone is 断子绝孙: may you die sonless (or without sons); may you be the last of your line.

        • Lop says:

          Well sure but these days it’s education, education and more education and every single study I’ve ever seen (teacher by profession) ranks girls higher in study efficiency, results, level of education completed and final grades.

          I know men still make more money for doing the same job in most cases, also in the “West”, but let’s hope that eventually evens out. These days you see more and more Chinese women in executive positions and with CCPs 60 years of promoting equality between the genders I see a real future for educated women here. That is unless the world doesn’t collaps into chaos when the oil runs out that is.

  4. SinoSoul says:

    I’m thinking that’s golden “nuggets”, not golden “neglects”. crazy story nonetheless.

  5. Wang Er says:

    But you wouldn’t see a couple makes three bows deeply to their parents in a wedding ceremony in the west. Generally speaking, there are more bond between a married couple and their parents in China. Culture difference is the key and marriage tradition varies quite dramatically even in different parts inside the country. I’m not surprised.

  6. John says:

    She’s adorable and worth every penny. Good luck to them!

  7. Fred says:

    I’m out of words,after reading this crazy story.Love?Money?fortune?peaceful life?reality?whatever…….

  8. apensi says:

    Shower the girl with richesse, isn’t that the guy thing, look at the confidence 150,000

    bucks bring (the groom exudes). Must have been concerned with security of so much cash

    laying around.

  9. alex says:

    dowry and bride price are customs that have been around for a very long time. taking a digital photo of all the money laid out, however, is a bit uncommon, and seems a bit tacky

    just curious, though, how does the $150,000 compare to the groom’s total wealth? is his family paying 10% of their net worth? 1%? 0.1%?

  10. Al Jensen says:

    If they have that kinda money they can probably afford to have two kids if they choose.

    In the West (more or less) what’s important is not the wealth you bring to the marriage, but rather current and (expected) earning power. In fact, traditionally newlyweds in America are supposed to “rough it” for a bit, with the starter home, the run down car, etc. etc. and then gradually grow wealthier as they get older, establish solid credit, own equity, and progress in their respective careers.

    Not to mention that with the way divorce settlements tend to work out in Western countries, a woman more or less implicitly owns everything her husband brings to the marriage or earns after anyways, LOL.

  11. Adam Blin says:

    Hmmm… for the amount he should’ve gotten a hotter girl imo =D

  12. kimboslice says:

    This sends the wrong signal to society. The girl is posing on a pile of money. She thinks her looks and sex are worth a fortune. The money is given to the parents? Why not keep the money and the couple can help the parents if they are in a financial difficulty. This is beyond bad taste, this is absurd. After thousands of years, women in China are still goods to be bought. Funny, the man must feel his value is how much money he can shower on others, and she feels her value is how much money the guy will lavish onto her parents.

    • shiao ting says:

      You are probably a jealous ugly fat girl who could never get a guy to spend a dime on you.

      She, on the other hand, will enjoy a leisurely life, raising kids, cooking meal occasionally, and spending her husbands money.

      She sure isn’t complaining!

      • mad says:

        shut your weakass up shiao ting, you sound like one of those chinamans but a broke poor villiager with that shiao name
        she will enjoy that leisure lifeuntil he is tired of banging her, she will raise a dumb ugly kid, he will keep dropping money and eventually that stimulus from his parents will run out, he is rich but ugly now , he will be broke and still butt ugly later, shaio ting cant accept the fact kimboslice is right

        shaio ting is also mad because he has a small dingaling and cant even hook up with a fat girl

  13. Lop says:

    In ten years when she’s had a kid, grown chubby and looks older he’ll probably get a mistress anyway. If she saves the money or invest it in something at least she’ll have that. Honestly,, that’s how many Chinese people think.

    Was a girl working at my school last year. Pretty and clever but had turned 26 and was getting rather upset about it. Got a marriage proposal from some near-random guy, examined his job, income and assets and then accepted. True love ahhh.

    I am in the process of teaching my gf that money isn’t everything and although she is fairly relaxed about it compared to some of my friends she still thinks that you can’t get married without buying a house, a car, brand new furniture for all the rooms and have at least 3 weddings (bride and groom’s hometown and current livingplace). We already pool our income so she’s much better at thinking money now and thank god isn’t a heavy spender, more of a saver and although I am not getting a new 42 inch tv because of it I think I’d be pretty miserable if I had a princess who spent every dime on shoes, clothes, makeup and bling.

    Btw is it true that in China if you have been married for 5 years and get a divorce the wife automatically gets the house? Heard that more than once.

  14. hardyandtiny says:

    Didn’t he borrow the money? And doesn’t he expect to make a lot of it back from the wedding gifts after the ceremony?

  15. mad says:

    damm, that groom is dorky, chinky, ugly, goofy, straight up,
    she married him for the $, not for love
    she just anotther lucky bride in china out of billons, she could of ended up with a flat screen tv or a microwave like most other chinese brides because most chinese males born after1980s can not afford this type of gifts these days let alone drop a million in rmb
    china girls are so materialistic these days, the groom is a dumbass gold giver, she is a dumbass gold digger, their marriage wont last, even if it does he will be spending bed time with another gold digger, i can almost guarantee the groom did not make that money himself, it was $ from his parents hard earnings the previous generation, his family invested so much in his marriage, wait till she gives birth to a girl, lets see how much more spluring they will do
    poor girls want to marry rich guys, rich girls want to marry richer guys, they are all jacked up
    just look at zhang zi yi, she dated a billionaire despite having millions in usd
    and by the way the groom is butt ugly
    i despise these people

  16. mad says:

    also what type of dumbass takes pictures of money????????

  17. mad says:

    also her smile is not one bit sincere, she is smiling because of the pink on the hundred dollars yuan NOT BECAUSE of the pink on the two dozen roses he was giving her in another picture dumb chinaman 1000

  18. mad says:

    that groom eyes areso small, so SMall it is eyes wide shut during day time
    open up your eyes groom and seeeeeeee wht is going on

  19. bert says:

    “Marriages in the west are not all pure and simple, many are all about the business, it’s just they are much more subtle.”

    Why bring the West up at all? Just admit YOUR society’s shallowness and move on.

  20. Jessciao says:

    With so many cash lying on the bed, they are just such superficial couple without any taste lol~~

    I love the cash too, only in my bank account plzzz;p

  21. SumDudeLookin4PRN says:

    Uhh yeah this looks pretty bad at least until you compare it to the way rich people here in the west choose husbands and wives. I mean its basically the same thing – we all know of old ass, rich ass cradle robbers who marry simply to show off his new trophy wife to his friends and the media. I’d say its much worse here where we don’t even talk about it at all – we just call it ‘love at first sight’ (as a young intern to her new boss or stripper to her richest client). What they are saying is pretty much exactly what happens here – only they’re honest about it.

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